Waking Leads to Waking
It is unwise to walk with an eye always to the sky, always looking for that holy escape hatch that pulls us to the immortal plane. Still, to keep the ears tuned to the things of earth—the breaking news and the commodification of anxiety—sets the human brain on fire. At least, it does mine.
Throughout this Dry January, I’ve cut out the news (please don’t pull me into the impeachment spin cycle until February). I’ve avoided the opinion snipers on Twitter. I’ve turned off my Medium notifications. I’ve unfollowed people on Instagram who twist it into something political. (I go there for beauty, not opinion.) This is not to say I’ve entered into anything like silence. I’ve not. But I have silenced the spitfire incivility of our current cultural moment.
In this piece of quiet, I’ve woken to a few truths. These are among those truths:
The world moves on, even without my anxiety over the crisis du jour;
My heart rate is demonstrably slower, three beats a minute according to my Fitbit;
Uninterrupted by the breaking news of broken political systems, I’m more focused;
There is an underground conversation beginning to stir among the people, one about searching for joy;
This underground conversation is spoken in whispers, and I’ve heard those whispers only since silencing the churn of news;
Though I’ve not found absolute silence (who would want it?), I’ve found something like an inner-quiet;
The world is a beautiful place if we keep the Powers from outshining the sun.
In The Book of Waking Up I wrote, “Waking gives way to waking, which gives way to waking, which gives way to waking.” In this Dry January, I’ve found this truth again. In your own practice, have you woken to new truths?
***WAKE UP WITH ME***
THE BOOK OF WAKING UP —a book on addiction, attachment, and the Divine Love—launched TUESDAY so order a copy or ten at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Bookish (my favorite indie bookseller). Then, forward this post to a friend and ask them to read along.
A Dry January Update
In the new decade, I offered a sort of challenge: participate in Dry January with me, a month of laying off your particularly addiction, vice, bad habit, or coping mechanism of choice. Some of you might have chosen to lay off the booze or porn or shopping. For those of us who might not struggle with those particular behaviors (or for those of us who’ve struggled so hard in the past that we gave them up forever), we might have chosen to abstain from difference vices. What was my particular Dry January commitment?
Give up the news.
It’s a tricky abstinence, going cold turkey off the stream of information that animates so much of our society. I deleted the News app from my phone. I’ve avoided scrolling the Twitter feed for the hottest take on the most recent What-The-Hell? event. I’ve white-knuckled through my cravings for The Daily, the New York Times daily news podcast. Why?
The News: What is it but an inducement for anxiety these days? What is it but a roiling, angsty cauldron of angry opinion? What is it but corporate-sponsored argument, a divisive device of control, an inducement to pull out your pitchforks and string up your less-enlightened neighbor? And even though I understand these very real truths, what am I but an avid consumer of all that anxiety and anger?
In the days leading up to the new decade, I sensed my anxiety and anger ratcheting up each time I turned to the news. Belly full of opinions, I gave sideways glances at my neighbors who watched certain news networks. I grew more suspicious of the political pundits (particularly those of faith) who supported particular political candidates and grew even more suspicious of the American people who seemed to love those particular pundits. I teetered on the verge of hating my American sister and loathing my American brother. And so, I quit.
I’ve stuck with my personal Dry January challenge, and it’s cleared my mind. In just sixteen days, my skepticism has waned, and it’s allowed me to see the neighbor behind the talking head. It’s increased my capacity for compassion, even if I’ve not put it into action perfectly. The anxiety of a world falling apart doesn’t sit on my chest like a gorilla escaped from the zoo. My Dry January commitment has kept me off my phone more, too—an added bonus.
If you’re participating in your own Dry January, take some time today to examine the differences it’s made in your daily life. If you’re not participating, it’s not too late to start, though you might consider extending the exercise by a couple of weeks. But whether you’re participating or not, let’s keep walking into this new decade with eyes wide open. Let’s keep moving into something like inner sobriety. (How do we keep waking to sobriety? Read below the asterisks.)
***THE BOOK IS HERE! ORDER AND FORWARD***
THE BOOK OF WAKING UP —a book on addiction, attachment, and the Divine Love—launched TUESDAY so order a copy or ten at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Bookish (my favorite indie bookseller). Then, forward this post to a friend and ask them to read along.
It's Not Enough to Quit. Replace Vice With Ritual.
In the throes of a twenty-year affair with coffee, I wanted to make a change. A morning half-pot habit left me feeling jittery, dehydrated, and somewhat bombastic, as my coworkers can attest. I wanted to make a change, wanted to start my day with less coffee (which is not to say no coffee) and more water.
I decided I’d decouple my coffee habit from waking. Instead…
Read MoreFreeing Up Willpower: A Dry January Invitation
As I wrote yesterday, we’ve entered into Dry January, a month used by many to reset drinking habits. Maybe you’re not prone to overdrinking. Maybe you’re using it like I am, to reset an attachment to some other vice (like shopping, eating sugar, porn use, or whatever). But whether you are are aren’t participating in Dry January, have you considered the power of abstinence—even for a season? Have you thought about the benefits abstinence brings?
If you buy one book this Dry January, buy my newest release, The Book of Waking Up. (Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Bookish). If you buy two books, buy The Book of Waking Up and Better Than Before, Gretchen Rubin’s work on making and breaking habits. In her offering, Rubin uses expert storytelling, research, and strategic insights to give the reader a habit-making and habit-breaking playbook. It’s a book that is both packed with insight and immanently readable. In discussing abstinence from any vice (LaMar’s Donuts being her example), she writes:
“Because habit formation often requires us to relinquish something we want, a constant challenge is: Ho can I deprive myself of something without feeling deprived? … I realized that one way to deprive myself without creating a feeling of deprivation is to deprive myself totally. Weirdly, when I deprive myself altogether, I feel as though I haven’t deprived myself at all. When we Abstainers deprive ourselves totally, we conserve energy and willpower, because there are no decisions to make and no self-control to muster.”
Consider Rubin’s advice. By taking something off the menu, even if only for a month, doesn’t it free up mental energy. Doesn’t it total deprivation remove the willpower required for moderation. (After all, if you remove all potato chips from the menu, you don’t have to stop yourself short of eating the entire bag once you tear into it.) This reserved mental energy and willpower—couldn’t it be better spent in other areas of your life?
***TODAY’S TASK: ORDER AND FORWARD***
THE BOOK OF WAKING UP —a book on addiction, attachment, and the Divine Love—launches in just a few short weeks and IT’S TIME TO ORDER YOUR COPY. Today:
1. Order a copy or ten at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or wherever good books are sold; and,
2. Forward this post to a friend and ask them to read along.
Dry January: Are You Ready to Wake Up?
It is the second day of a new decade, a day marking the transition from resolution to action. As E.E. Cummings might say, this is the day for “tasting, touching, seeing, breathing, any….” This Day of Doing begs a simple question: How will you craft the next ten years of your lives? Will you do it with intention?
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